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Living in My Imagination: How Trauma Fosters an Unquenchable Desire for Idealized Love

Interesting and it makes me think also about the political sphere where maybe collective/collaborative action may help bring change. Praxis is the transformation of subjectivity through the process of human action and may involve loss of some personal illusions.

Leon's Existential Cafe

Throughout our quests for the perfect mate, we frequently find ourselves fantasizing about what that mate would be like: we envision an attractive, intelligent, deeply compassionate, ambitious, and empathic individual entering our lives to save us from the mundane and the awful. We create internal stories of us meeting, falling in love, introducing each another to our parents, and having children, in essence, living happily ever-after. These stories become our blueprints, guiding us on our dates as we use them to vet our prospective mates, weeding out the ones who are unacceptable. While our lives progress and our timelines fade, we may begin to accept the fruitlessness of our quest, acknowledging the discrepancy between the people we meet and date and our romanticized images of love. Sometimes, we choose to disavow our prior expectations, with the belief that reality can’t correlate with fantasy; but at others, this recognition engenders a…

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By penwithlit

Freelance writer and radio presenter

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