Interesting stuff and the reality is of course, as the song goes “people need people”. It seems as well that advanced capitalism- has become especially punitive to basic human needs like shelter rest and protection.
Some feel ashamed of themselves for being unable to ask for help, so they expect their partner to anticipate their needs, blaming them when they don’t. It’s easier to shame someone else than feel ashamed for being inadequate, whether for an inability to request aid or for even needing it in the first place.
And anger frequently stems from redirected shame, and from the fear of feeling it.
Many of my clients struggle with asking for help. And just as many feel entitled to it. We expect the world to care for our needs as it distracts us from acknowledging our limits. My female clients tend to become frustrated with their spouses for not knowing what they need, as, perhaps, their fathers would. To them, asking for help is akin to being thrown into the depths of a wilderness. They ask, “Why do I have to?” But, underneath that, they’re…
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penwithlit 