Learning How to Listen to and Tolerate Your Negative Feelings

Traumatic childhoods can cause people to attempt to flee their lives by cultivating and pursuing fantasies, or utopic lives, believing that they’ll make up for all the sorrow and harmonize their existence. But, the fantasies never do, with reality pushing back relentlessly.

Throughout history, utopias were the dreamlands of serenity, wherein its residents remained immune from all forms of physical and emotional suffering. And because so many of us believe that we can’t confront and tolerate our negative emotions, we delusionally attempt to create our own knockoffs. The question I get asked most in my work is, “How can I stop feeling that?” ‘That’ can mean sad, angry, afraid, hurt, or guilty. Fundamentally, the person asking doubts their ability to stand those feelings. And doubts their ability to continue living their lives with them.

So, many of my clients are held captive.

But, can you live with guilt or sadness…