The Consolations of Psychotherapy: Why the Question of “Why Did This Happen to Me?” Doesn’t Make Sense

There is no why to suffering, only a how.

How did it affect you? How did it change your outlook, your character, your purpose? What did it do your plans and your incentive to go on? Did it tarnish your spirit? Psychotherapy, in its attempt to address one’s personal distress, often works with the victim to move away from asking the proverbial question of trauma. And many seek treatment because they know they ought to cease asking it, but can’t.

Acknowledging the near complete uncertainty of one’s life entails relinquishing the delusion of control, the belief that he can predict and control the various calamities waiting behind the door of possibility. In his understanding, much of his suffering is personal, engendered by those who wish to harm him and a cruel universe having him atop its hit-list. So, if he does find himself sitting in an inconsequential room with an…